My Aldi Wish List, Christmas 2013 Edition

This Christmas we’re working with a “grateful we’ve got each other” theme in my household, but that doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream, right? I have my eye on one particular item from Aldi’s current Weekly Ad, and some (mostly chocolatish) edible stocking stuffers, in addition to mourning some lost opportunities (gifts I should have given myself during the short time Aldi carried them).

I’ve been in need of a heating pad for a while now, and if we weren’t going giftless this year, I would definitely ask Santa to stop at Aldi to pick up a king-size Conair heating pad for $12.99. Features include three heat settings, dry/moist heat, and automatic shutoff.

Conair Heating Pad, King Size, Aldi Weekly Special, $12.99

Conair King-Size Heating Pad, offered by Aldi for $12.99 while supplies last. (Photo from Aldi website)

When I was growing up, I could always count on a stocking stuffed with delicious holiday goodies. At the very bottom of the stocking, there would always be a HUGE orange, and the orange would always be sweet – never unpleasantly sour, like all the super-large oranges I have bought for myself in various fits of holiday nostalgia. There would also be nuts still in their shells, usually walnuts. And nearly all the remaining space in the stocking was filled with candy – the good stuff. For me that meant chocolate; my crazy sister favored candies like Fun Dip and Starbursts, and her crazy preferences were acknowledged by Santa as well. Aldi is my one-stop chocolate spot these days, and since Santa is known (by me) for giving the people what they want, it stands to reason that he’d give me the following:

Andes Creme de Menthe thins, 4.67 oz, $1.49 - I love these, and they’re a great example of national brand items that pop up in Aldi stores.

andes cream de menthe chocolates from Aldi

Andes Creme de Menthe Thins from Aldi, $1.49 while supplies last. (Photo from Aldi website)

Choceur Cocoa Dusted Truffles, 8.81 oz, $2.49 – I’m not a major fan of truffles, because the good ones are generally out of my price range, but I would love to try these.

choceur chocolate truffles from Aldi

Choceur Cocoa Dusted Truffles from Aldi, $2.49 while supplies last. (Photo from Aldi website)

Cafe Bistro Chocolate Covered Gingerbread Assortment, 17.06 oz, $2.99 - I have actually not ever had anything that combined gingerbread and chocolate, but I have heard many people sing the praises of a similar item from Trader Joe’s, and I can see why they would be appealing.

aldi's chocolate covered gingerbread milk chocolate dark chocolate

Cafe Bistro Chocolate-Covered Gingerbread from Aldi, $2.99 while supplies last. (Photo from Aldi website)

Witor’s Pralines, 12.34 oz, $3.99 – Another item I haven’t tried but would love to. I love pralines. I love chocolate. What could go wrong?

aldi chocolate pralines

Witor’s Chocolate Covered Pralines from Aldi, available in dark or milk chocolate. $3.99 while supplies last, Winter Seasonal special. (Photo from Aldi website)

Ferrero Rocher chocolates, 5.3 oz, $3.77 - Another household name that is universally loved. The only thing better than these Ferrero Rocher chocolates are the coconut-white chocolate ones, which are basically heaven in a silver wrapper.

aldi ferrero rocher winter seasonal $3.77

Ferrero Rocher chocolates, offered by Aldi for $3.77 while supplies last. (Photo from Aldi website)

Choceur Coffee & Cream chocolate bar, around 7 oz, around $2.00 – I haven’t officially reviewed this and there’s no photo on the Aldi website. Sometimes my local Aldi has this and sometimes they don’t, but when they do, it makes my day.

Choceur White Chocolate bar, around 7 oz, around $2.00 - I haven’t reviewed this and it isn’t on the Aldi website. Sometimes my local Aldi has this and sometimes they don’t, but when they do, it makes my day.

Choceur Coconut Crunch white chocolate bar, around 7 oz, around $2.00 – This is the best white chocolate I’ve ever had in my life, and that’s saying something. It’s also also incredibly elusive. I have only seen it at my local Aldi twice. The next time I see them, I intend to buy all of them. If Santa were to procure this particular candy bar, it would be quite a coup – maybe even a Christmas miracle.

But a woman can’t live on chocolate alone – that’s my excuse for adding cookies and wine and cheesecake to the list:

Benton’s Maple Cream Cookies, 11.4 oz, $1.99 – I have heard wonderful things about these cookies from multiple people. Since they’re a Winter Seasonal item, I want to make sure I get to try them before they disappear from the shelves.

aldi maple leaf cream sandwich cookies winter seasonal

Benton Maple Leaf Cream Cookies, $1.99 at Aldi while supplies last. (Photo from Aldi website)

Cafe Bistro Spiced Spekulatius cookies, 21.16 oz, $1.99 - Have you ever heard of Biscoff Spread? The private-label and homemade versions are called “cookie butter.” It has a consistency similar to peanut butter and is literally made out of crushed speculoos (aka Spekulatius) cookies and oil. Some people describe the cookie butter as “magical,” but I prefer the cookies over the cookie butter… particularly when paired with a caramel dipping sauce like oh, I don’t know, maybe Berryhill Creamy Caramel Dip (14 oz, $2.49, worth every penny)… or perhaps Happy Farms Pumpkin Spice Cream Cheese Spread (8 oz, $1.49).

aldi speculoos spekulatius cookies limited availability

Cafe Bistro by Aldi Spiced Spekulatius cookies (store- brand speculoos), $1.99, available as a Winter Seasonal item. (Photo from Aldi website)

Belmont Supreme Cheesecake Sampler, 50 oz, $9.99 – I haven’t had cheesecake in a long time, but I love it, and I find the “sampler” idea especially appealing. This seems to be another Winter Special that I’d like to get while it’s still around.

aldi cheesecake sampler supreme

Supreme Cheesecake Sampler, Benton by Aldi, $9.99. Available as a Winter Seasonal special. (Photo from Aldi website)

Christkindl Gluhwein (spiced wine), 1L, $4.99 – I have heard really great things about this spiced wine, yet another Winter Seasonal Special.

aldi's spiced wine christkindl gluhwein

Christkindl Gluhwein – Spiced Wine imported from Germany by Aldi, $4.99 ($5.99 in OH), only available as a Winter Seasonal specialty item. (Photo from Aldi website)

I guess that about does it for my Christmas wish list. Maybe Santa will notice how good I’ve been this year and drop an item or two off my list down the chimney! But if not, well, there are far worse things in the world than waiting til the beginning of January to load up on unhealthy (but undoubtedly delicious) Winter Specials from Aldi.

I did notice a few spectacular bargains in Aldi’s current Weekly Ad for groceries:

  • Grape Tomatoes, $0.59 per dry pint
  • Avocados, $0.29 each
  • Countryside Creamery Butter Quarters, 16 oz, $1.69

Also worth mentioning are a few deals I missed out on in the last month or two that would make great gifts. My New Years Resolution for 2014 is to keep my eyes peeled for great deals at Aldi so I don’t miss out on stuff like this in the future:

Medion Lifetab 7″ Tablet PC (Android), $99 – I actually have a Kindle Fire that I’m happy with; I’d like to have given this to my husband.

medion tablet $99 aldi us

7-inch Tablet PC, Medion brand, was temporarily available at Aldi for $99. What a deal! (Photo from Aldi website)

Kitchen Living Silicone Baking Mat, $4.99 – This is Aldi’s take on the popular Silpat baking mats that are easily three times as expensive.

aldi silpat silicone baking mat

Silicone Baking Mat, Kitchen Living brand, was available at Aldi the week of Dec. 11, 2013 for $4.99. (Photo from Aldi website)

Easy Home Queen or King Heated Microplush Blanket, $59.99 – I used to have an electric blanket and it was great. I would like to have one again. It is the ultimate first-world pleasure.

aldi electric blanket queen or king

Microplush Electric Blanket from Aldi, available prior to Christmas 2013 in Queen or King Size for $59.99 (Photo from Aldi Website)

O’Donnells Cappucino Cream, imported from Ireland, 750 ml, $8.99 – Think Bailey’s Irish Cream with the addition of cappuccino flavors

aldi cappuccino cream $8.99

Aldi Cappuccino Cream, O’Donnells brand, imported from Ireland, 750 ml for $8.99

AutoXS Folding Trunk Organizer, $4.99 – I don’t drive and thus have no need of a trunk organizer, but this would be perfect for my closet and various other areas in need of organizing

folding trunk organizer from Aldi $4.99

Folding Trunk Organizer by Auto XS, an Aldi brand. A ailable for $4.99 in early December 2013. (Photo from Aldi website)

Kitchen Living 6-Cup Food Processor, $19.99 – I have wanted a food processor for years. Hopefully Aldi will offer this again at a time when I can spare $20. I can’t imagine it would compare to the Cuisinart of my dreams, but it would probably be fine for my purposes. I’m light years away from a Cuisinart budget anyway.

aldi food p rocessor, kitchen kiving brand

Food Processor with 6-Cup capacity, available in early December 2013 for $19.99 from Aldi. (Photo from Aldi website)


Did you buy gifts from Aldi this year? If so, what did you buy?

Merry Christmas!

Aldi Review: Choceur Nut & Raisin Milk Chocolate Bar

I don’t like raisins. There are a few exceptions to this statement, like crunchy Raisin Bran cereal and any application that involves soaking raisins in booze, but generally I consider raisins a food to be studiously avoided. When cooking, I typically substitute dried cranberries (“Craisins”) for the raisins in a recipe. I think it’s nearly criminal to adulterate perfectly good chocolate by adding raisins, and Raisinets make me gag. So imagine my displeasure when my husband answered my directive to “bring chocolate” with this:

Choceur milk chocolate candy bar from Aldi, hazelnut and raisin

Choceur Nut and Raisin Milk Chocolate Bar from Aldi

I love chocolate, especially chocolate from Aldi. I love it even more in the form of unreasonably big bars. And there is a special place reserved in my heart for hazelnuts, which are modestly described as “nuts” on the package. Chocolate and hazelnuts are a magical combination; they were meant to be together (see: Nutella). I firmly believed that raisins were total homewreckers in this situation, trying to break up the harmonious flavor combination of chocolate and hazelnuts.

I was absolutely certain that this raisin-infested Choceur bar would be my first one- or two- star review on this site. Until I tasted it, that is.

I had already made a deal with my husband. He would get the Nut & Raisin bar, while I would have the other one, a sort of chocolate & cream thing that I may write about in the future. But for the sake of this review, I tried a bite of his Nut & Raisin bar. Then another bite, and another. My husband had to wrest it away from me, lest he be stuck with the chocolate & cream bar, a prospect about which he was less than enthused (and rightfully so).

I was shocked. The darn raisin bar was GOOD. It was nothing like those foul Raisinets I had at a movie theater in 1994, which was the entire basis for my anti-raisins-in-chocolate stance.

Sure, I would still prefer chocolate without raisins, 10 times out of 10. But the combination of (quality) milk chocolate, hazelnuts, and raisins works in unexpected ways.

Nutrition Info Choceur Nut and Raisin chocolate bar

Back label, including Nutrition Information, for Aldi’s Choceur Nut and Raisin Milk Chocolate Bar

Aldi does chocolate really, really well. I was raised on “American” chocolate bars and still love Hershey’s bars and Reese’s peanut butter cups as much as the next girl, but these chocolate bars from Aldi are in a class of their own. They’re made with quality ingredients. The milk chocolate is wonderfully smooth, the raisins are plump, the hazelnuts are delicious and plentiful. Aldi’s chocolate prices are just incredible – I only paid $1.99 for this huge 7-oz bar.

I give the Choceur Nut & Raisin milk chocolate bar an enthusiastic 4 out of 5 stars. Food – especially chocolate – rarely takes me by surprise, but this bar was unexpectedly delicious. In fact, I wish I had one right now.

Aldi Review: Nutella vs. Aldi’s Berryhill Hazelnut Spread

I just couldn’t bring myself to post a blurry picture of an empty jar to accompany this review.

“Why is it empty, Jane?” you might ask, and it would be fair enough to ask, but you can’t seriously expect me to cop to eating an entire jar of Aldi store-brand Nutella before I even managed to snap a picture of it. In my own defense, the photo session happened days after the purchase of the chocolate hazelnut spread. I won’t say exactly how long it lasted, or how many people were involved in the consumption of said spread. Mostly this is because I don’t want to incriminate myself.

I was completely thrilled to find this stuff at Aldi. I first heard whisperings of its existence sometime in the summer of 2012, at a price point of $1.99, and immediately made a trip to my local Aldi. I scoured the store and couldn’t find it. Asked an employee, who didn’t know anything about it. Dejected, I bought a handful of European chocolate to get my fix and decided the whispers were just rumors, that Aldi Nutella was either an urban legend or perhaps a regional offering.

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a recipe in one of my favorite food blogs that called for Nutella and couldn’t put the thought of Nutella from Aldi out of my mind. I had no plans at the time to go to a store that carried regular branded Nutella, and absolutely no desire whatsoever to pay $4+ for a single ingredient. I don’t think the recipe called for an entire jar, but I like to be realistic, and realistically, by the time I made the recipe and spread some on a slice of toast… or used it to top a bowl of ice cream… or attacked it with a spoon… the jar would have been history. Fortunately, I was able to find it at Aldi this time (near the peanut butter) for an awesome price.

My original inclination had been to give Aldi’s version of Nutella a score of 4 stars. It was terrific, but I couldn’t be sure there wasn’t something missing, some tiny thing that would have made it as good as Ferrero’s branded Nutella. It had been well over a year since I’d tasted any Nutella variety – branded, generic, or a competing product (like Jif hazelnut spread) – and I couldn’t be certain that the Aldi product measured up.

But tonight, completely by surprise, my husband brought home a jar of Nutella. With my recent Aldi-Nutella-taste-test on my mind, I ate more than my fair share of the real stuff tonight (for the sake of science, you know) and I am now completely comfortable saying that the Aldi version is just as good. I had been tempted to think it was the same exact stuff in different jars, but the Aldi jar says “product of Germany” while the Ferrero Nutella jar reads “made in Canada.” Comparing the labels also showed me that there was only one issue which might have resulted in a minor difference between the flavor of Nutella and that of Aldi’s hazelnut spread – real Nutella contains vanillin, whereas the Aldi spread doesn’t. I think you would have to taste them back-to-back in order to tell a difference, though, and even then many people would be unlikely to identify which of the spreads was the Ferrero-branded Nutella.

Since I can’t provide pictures like I have in other posts, I figure it’s the least I can do to share the nutrition information from the labels of Ferrero Nutella vs. Aldi chocolate hazelnut spread.

13-oz jar of Nutella, distributed by Ferrero U.S.A. Inc, purchased at Dollar General for $3.85

  • Made with 48 hazelnuts per jar
  • Contains no artificial preservatives or artificial colors
  • Per 2-tablespoon serving, contains: 200 calories (110 from fat), 4g saturated fat, 2g protein, 15mg sodium, 21g sugars
  • Ingredients: Sugar, Palm Oil, Hazelnuts, Cocoa, Skim Milk, Reduced Minerals, Whey (Milk), Lecithin as Emulsifier (Soy), Vanillin: An Artificial Flavor.

13-oz jar of Berryhill Hazelnut Spread, distributed by ALDI Inc., purchased at Aldi for $2.19

  • Made with over 50 hazelnuts per jar
  • Contains no preservatives or artificial colors
  • Per 2-tablespoon serving, contains: 200 calories (100 from fat), 3g saturated fat, 4g protein, 30mg sodium, 19g sugars
  • Ingredients: Sugar, Vegetable Oil (Rapeseed, Palm), Hazelnuts, Skim Milk Powder, Medium Fat Cocoa, Sunflower Lecithin.

With nearly identical ingredients and nutrition stats, it’s easy to see how and why the two products are practically interchangeable with one another in terms of taste and texture.

For a savings of $1.66 per jar, or 56.8%, I don’t see how you could go wrong with the Aldi version — especially when you consider the double guarantee, in which Aldi promises to replace the product AND refund the purchase price of anything you’re unhappy with.

SCORE: 5 out of 5 stars!

What’s your favorite way to eat Nutella – on toast or crackers, as a topping for oatmeal or ice cream, in a recipe… or straight out of the jar with a spoon?  Have you ever tried Aldi’s Berryhill Hazelnut Spread?  If so, what did you think of it?

PS: I never made the recipe.

Aldi Review: Specially Selected Garlic & Herb Goat Cheese

I have always liked cheese to a degree that is definitely both bizarre and unhealthy. But I am also a cheapskate, which has nearly always meant limiting myself to the most basic block and deli-sliced cheeses that are available… on sale or at an “everyday low price.” As such, Extra Sharp Cheddar was about as fancy as I ever got.

I first encountered goat cheese on the “salad bar” of a restaurant that was entirely out of my income bracket (which, incidentally, bore little resemblance to the salad bars of restaurants I can afford). And I loved it, absolutely loved the stuff. Nobody else demonstrated my level of interest in the goat cheese, either at that meal or at any time since then. I am usually alone in wishing for tangy, creamy goat cheese while others are interested in cheeses like baked brie and various other eat-the-mold types.

I  kept my eyes peeled while grocery shopping for a while, but generally speaking, I have been priced out of the goat cheese market. I can’t justify a large expenditure on a small amount of cheese that only I will enjoy. And for better or worse, my grocery shopping tends to happen at stores that focus on value, sometimes to the exclusion of variety, particularly in the case of gourmet and specialty items.

ALDI Garlic & Herb Goat Cheese

Specially Selected Goat Cheese Log, Garlic & Herb, $1.69 for 4 ounces.

Enter Aldi, with 4 ounces of goat cheese for $1.69. I can completely justify spending less than $2 on something for myself. It’s a fair and reasonable price, and I have never loved Aldi so much as I did the day I discovered the goat cheese – except maybe for the day I learned they carried their own Berryhill-branded “chocolate hazelnut spread” (read: Nutella), but that’s another post for another day.

I am obsessed with this goat cheese, y’all. The garlic & herb variety is just flavorful enough without being overpowering. It pairs perfectly with crackers, particularly the private-label Savorritz crackers at Aldi. I tried it on the round Ritz imitators and the Triscuit-like ones as well. And by “tried,” I mean “ate every last bit of it.” Literally, I allocated exactly three lightly-cheesed crackers for my husband to taste. He thought it was good, though admittedly he isn’t really a goat cheese enthusiast like I am.

Frankly, I find myself annoyed when reading online reviews of products that award one five-star review after another. I go to review sites to read the truth; if I wanted marketing copy shoved down my throat, I would visit the company’s website or just read the product packaging.

So why am I dishing out another five-star review on my second out of exactly two product reviews? Because it’s really that good. Aldi has found the perfect meeting point for quality and price. This wouldn’t be a 5-Star review if the price tag had been a dollar more, or if the quality had been even a little lower.

aldi goat cheese with triscuits

Savorritz Woven Wheats spread with Specially Selected Garlic and Herb Goat Cheese from ALDI

Just for the record, I would like to reiterate that in my opinion, a 5-Star review is justified when a product is as perfect as it could possibly be, for being what it is. My opinion is that this particular variety of Aldi’s goat cheese tastes great and is a terrific bargain. That said, it is not magic. If you don’t especially like goat cheese, not even a 5-Star goat cheese is going to rock your world. But if you DO like goat cheese, I don’t see how you could go wrong with this one.

SCORE: 5 out of 5 stars!

Do you like goat cheese? Have you tried the garlic and herb goat cheese from Aldi?

Aldi Wine Review: Petit Chocolat Specialty Wine

Recently my husband had “drinks” with a friend of his and brought the merest sip of a beverage home to me, so that I might try it. He told me it was “wine.” He also told me that if the “wine” I was tasting wasn’t the very first review post on the Aldi-centric blog I had been brainstorming, he wouldn’t help me set it up. The nerve of the man, demanding concessions from me! But in the end, I agreed. I actually didn’t even require any convincing, because this wine, you guys… this wine was CHOCOLATE.

Petit Chocolat Specialty Wine, Aldi, $6.99

Petit Chocolat Specialty Wine, Aldi, $6.99

Yes, my manly-man husband got together with his manly-man friend and they drank CHOCOLATE WINE together. And he brought me a single tantalizing sip late at night, at a time when more chocolate wine could not be immediately procured, which personally I thought was borderline cruel. Naturally, I sent my husband on a wine-fulfillment mission the following afternoon.

But I had chocolate wine on the brain that night. I searched the internet for information on the chocolate wine-making process, and alternated between feeling disappointed and reassured that the sorcery by which red wine turned chocolatey seemed to involve, in no small part, “natural and artificial flavors.” My skeptical mind skews more heavily toward “artificial” flavors than natural ones, but in the end, maybe that’s okay. After all, making wine depends naturally on the process of fermentation, and I don’t really want to think too hard about fermented heavy cream and chocolate. It’s probably for the best that artificial flavors went into the chocolate wine. Perhaps those artificial flavors were the key to making the wine so very reminiscent of drinking mudslides, which I consider to be one of the more pleasant experiences of life on this earth.

…And I am a girl who knows mudslides. Sadly, this has less to do with social occasions calling for festive chocolatey mixed drinks and more to do with hospitals. Well, one hospital in particular. I used to work in that particular hospital, and one afternoon I found myself in a corner of the basement, at a snack counter that served something called a “virgin mudslide smoothie.” I hadn’t been aware that chocolate ice cream blended with artificially flavored syrup qualified as a “smoothie,” a food item I thought usually involved yogurt and berries and therefore shunned. I only stayed at that job for a few months after discovering the “mudslide smoothie,” but I managed to get that same smoothie every single remaining day of my employment there. Since then, I always try real mudslides when I see them on menus in restaurants. Er, “bars,” I guess they’re called, when hard liquor is on the menu. Sadly, none of these real, live, alcohol-containing mudslides have measured up to the fake “smoothies” I used to enjoy… but this chocolate wine definitely comes closer than you might imagine.

There are some things you need to understand about chocolate wine and my review of it as a wine product. The first is that I am not a serious drinker of wine. I don’t know any of the jargon that pertains to wine tasting, and I’m pretty sure that even if I did, none of it would apply to this chocolate wine (or any chocolate wine, I would imagine). By the very nature of being, you know, chocolate wine, it is sort of a novelty item. Add to that the “flavors of finest cream” mentioned on the label, and you’ve got a beverage unlike most any wine you’ll ever try. I know that it’s a red wine because the label (quite helpfully) points this out as well. Without such guidance, I’m not sure I would have identified it as red wine. Or any type of wine. It could just as easily be malt liquor or even some stronger type of spirit.petitchoclabel

Make no mistake, this is first and foremost a chocolate beverage. The next flavor that hits you, if you want to call it “flavor,” is alcohol. Strong alcohol. Definitely it doesn’t have a “fruity aroma,” but you could get away with saying it has body. Oh, yeah, loads of body. Truckloads. For those who don’t know, as I myself didn’t until about three seconds ago, “body” is a word used to describe the degree to which wine does or doesn’t taste like water. This Petit Chocolat Wine from Aldi tastes absolutely nothing at all like water, so you could accurately say this wine has truckloads of body, though perhaps that wasn’t particularly the spirit in which the term was intended to be used.

In any event, you are either going to love or hate this wine. I don’t see much room for middle ground here, though certainly I would love to hear what others who have tried the wine thought of it.

We loved it. We drank the entire bottle within a period of about ten minutes, after a very long chill in the freezer. This wine definitely tastes best super cold… and we found that the more we drank it, the more we liked it. It was kind of embarrassing, actually, gulping down freezer-chilled chocolate wine out of coffee cups as fast as we could guzzle it down. It was… uncouth.

It’s not that I have anything against class or sophistication. Maybe you can pull it off while drinking chocolate wine. Certainly Aldi sells varieties of affordable wine that are considered quite good, wines to be paired with seafood or steaks, wines to be described by terminology that I’m still only vaguely aware exists. But my instincts tell me that maybe you should only drink chocolate wine with someone who already loves you and won’t judge you for… you know… drinking chocolate wine.

I think if more than one of the following applies, you are probably a good candidate for giving chocolate wine a shot:

  • You really like mudslides. Or chocolate milk. Or Yoohoo.
  • You really like chocolate in general.
  • You’re not bothered by the rather mindbending concept of wine that tastes nothing at all like grapes.
  • You are an adventurous drinker.
  • You are a cheapskate. Or, you’re not a cheapskate but you have a higher-than-normal level of appreciation for bargain alcohol.

For $6.99, I felt like it was more than worth the money – and not too large of an investment in something you may not like. The “cheap” factor is worth mentioning, but so is Aldi’s no-questions-asked return policy.

For us, this was absolutely an awesome find and the perfect way to kick off this new blog. Without reservations, I give Petit Chocolat Wine 5 out of 5 stars. For those whose adoration of chocolate wines rates somewhat lower than my own, you might be interested to know that it has a screw-on cap and will keep up to two weeks in the refrigerator.

Have you tried this wine, or a similar variety? Did you love it or hate it? Does anything similar even exist?

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